Amongst the many tasks involved in wedding planning—scouting venues, making guest lists, and deciding on a dinner menu—selecting the perfect wedding bands is a significant yet often overlooked element. While you might have a clear idea of the ring you want, deciding who should foot the bill can be a bit trickier. Let’s explore the history, traditions, and modern perspectives on who buys the wedding bands.
The History Behind the Wedding Ring
The tradition of exchanging rings dates back nearly 3,000 years, with roots in cultures like Ancient Egypt, Greece, and Rome. During Medieval times, wedding rings were often set with precious gems symbolizing passion, strength, and endurance. By the 1600s, more intricate designs, such as interlocking bands, became popular.
Diamonds, now a staple in engagement and wedding rings, gained prominence around 300 BCE. The first recorded diamond wedding ring belonged to an English widow from the late 1300s or early 1400s. The diamond quickly became a symbol of romance, immortalized in a 1475 poem about an Italian wedding: “Two wills, two hearts, two passions are bonded in one marriage by a diamond.”
By the 12th century, marriage was declared a holy sacrament, and rings became a symbol of this commitment. The use of a wedding band in addition to an engagement ring became common during this period. According to the Gemological Institute of America, men’s wedding bands gained popularity only in the 20th century. During World War II, soldiers began wearing wedding rings to keep their loved ones close to their hearts, a tradition that continued and eventually spread to civilians.
Wedding Ring Traditions
The diamond’s mainstream popularity in engagement rings can be traced back to the 1940s, thanks to a marketing campaign by De Beers. Hollywood actresses and artists like Pablo Picasso and Salvador Dali helped popularize diamonds as symbols of glamour and romance. The iconic slogan “A Diamond is Forever” was introduced in 1947, and in 1953, Marilyn Monroe famously sang “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend.”
Today, engagement rings and wedding bands are global symbols of love, commitment, and devotion. Whether in the Western world or beyond, rings and weddings go hand in hand.
Why Is the Wedding Ring Worn on the Left Hand?
The “ring finger” is the fourth finger on the left hand. This tradition has sentimental roots, originating from the belief that the ring finger has a vein that runs directly to the heart. However, not everyone adheres to this tradition. In countries like India, Germany, Spain, Norway, and Russia, rings are often worn on the right hand.
In What Order Do My Rings Go?
If you plan to wear both your engagement ring and wedding band on the same finger, tradition suggests placing the wedding band closest to your heart. This means the wedding band goes on first, followed by the engagement ring. On your wedding day, you can swap your engagement ring to your right hand before the ceremony, allowing your spouse to place the wedding band on your left ring finger and then top it with the engagement ring.
Can I Wear My Rings on Different Hands?
If you prefer a solo look, you can wear your engagement ring and wedding band on different hands. The engagement ring is commonly worn on the right ring finger in this scenario.
Who Buys the Wedding Bands?
Deciding who buys the wedding bands can vary based on personal preferences and financial considerations. Open communication with your partner is key to making the best decision for your relationship.
- Traditional Approach: Traditionally, the bride or her parents purchase the groom’s wedding band, while the groom or his family buys the bride’s band.
- Modern Approach: Many couples opt for a more equal approach, splitting the cost or deciding together based on their financial situation and priorities.
Who Buys the Groom’s Wedding Ring?
- Tradition: The bride or her parents traditionally purchase the groom’s wedding band.
- Modern Tweaks: Given the cost of men’s rings, which often contain more metal, some couples choose to share the expenses. This can help manage the financial burden and ensure a fair distribution of costs.
Who Buys the Bride’s Wedding Ring?
- Tradition: The groom or his family traditionally buys the bride’s wedding band.
- Modern Approach: Each person can buy the other’s ring, reflecting a more equal partnership.
What About LGBTQ Couples?
For LGBTQ couples, the modern approach applies as well. Each person typically buys the other’s ring, ensuring an inclusive and equitable tradition.
Shopping for Wedding Bands
Once you’ve decided who will pay for the bands, it’s time to start shopping. Here are some tips to make the process smoother:
- When to Purchase Your Wedding Band: Aim to buy your rings three to four months before the wedding. Customized bands may require more time, so plan accordingly.
- Popular Metal Types and Materials: Choose from romantic rose gold, classic yellow gold, and eye-catching white gold. For durability, consider platinum or palladium. Tungsten is a popular choice for men’s bands.
- Engraving: Add a personal touch with an engraving. Place your wedding date, initials, or a meaningful phrase inside the band. Note that personalizations can extend delivery times, so decide early.
- Band Sizing and Style: Be certain of your ring size before purchasing, especially for styles like eternity bands that are difficult to resize.
- Where to Buy Your Wedding Band: Local jewelers and big-box stores offer a good selection, but online retailers provide a wider range of options and quick shipping.
Conclusion
Choosing who buys the wedding bands is a personal decision that should reflect your relationship and financial situation. Whether you follow tradition or take a modern approach, the most important thing is that you and your partner are on the same page. With the right communication and planning, you can find the perfect rings to symbolize your love and commitment.
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